The colors that I can't change
by MaddieBellamyWatson
Summary: Jon Snow is a loner and a weirdo, constantly bullied and left alone. He loves reading and singing. Robb Stark is the quarterback of the football team. He's popular and handsome. They're brothers (more or less) and best friends (or so they think). Then, a new music starts playing and everything changes. [Robb/Jon ; Jon/Satin Flowers]


**Characters: Jon Snow, Robb Stark, Alys Karstark, Satin Flowers, the Starks, and pretty much everyone else who can fit in the plot.**

**Pairings: Jon Snow/Satin Flowers, Jon Snow/Robb Stark. Also Robb Stark/various female characters, no one really important. **

**Warnings: themes of bullying, sexuality crisis, homophobia, adoption. May go explicit in a few moments.**

**Notes: this is a High School/Glee - Alternate Universe. Jon is adopted. Everyone's a few years older than in the books. **

"Hey, Snow!" someone shouted from the end of the hall. Jon raised his head from the book he was reading, already knowing who was calling him.

Theon Greyjoy, one of the most popular football player, one of those jerks full of money and girls who thinks he owns the world, was about to throw a football ball right towards him.

Without even looking, Jon knew there was one of the two Walder Frey's behind him, ready to catch the ball.

He ducked and it flew over him, landing right into the hands of the other player.

The Frey threw it hard against Jon's back, hitting him and bouncing off, he quickly caught it again and ran away with Theon.

Jon sighed deeply to calm down and got back to his book.

A small group of cheerleaders passed beside him and pushed him against the lockers without even looking at him.

Again, he didn't become enraged.

He was so used to it he didn't even remember a time when all that actually hurt.

"Hey, Jon." a softer, familiar voice called him.

Jon sighed again.

"Shouldn't you be on the field, captain?" he said dryly.

"I'll talk to them." the other said.

Jon looked up at his brother and a sort of smile lightly curved his lips.

Robb, tall and redhead, with broad shoulders and a perfect face, was the captain of the football team, the most popular guy in the whole school, and Jon's brother. Sort of.

"They shouldn't call you that either." he added.

"You gave me that bloody nickname. You can't really blame them for using it." Jon replied in a low, disinterested voice.

"Well okay, but still they shouldn't treat you like that. You did nothing to them." Robb insisted.

Jon smiled. That idiot and his overprotectiveness.

"I exist, Robb. That's quite enough. Plus, I'm a loner, a weirdo and an orphan. What do you need more?" he said.

Robb sighed.

"If only you..." he started, but Jon cut him off.

"Don't say that again, please. Alys is annoying enough." he almost snarled.

Robb let out an exasperated puff.

"As you want, just don't complain if you're a loner then." he said, pretending to be angry.

"I don't! Your mother does." he laughed.

Robb made a face.

"Go to your team, now. They may think I kidnapped you." he said, patting on his brother's shoulder and smiling fondly.

Robb nodded quietly, muttered a "see you later" and ran away.

Jon rested against a locker and watched him disappear around the corner with a sort of aching feeling nesting in his chest.

Robb was so sweet and loving, but he just couldn't understand.

Jon had always lived as his shadow, at home as at school, but in high school things had changed.

There, popular and unpopular kids couldn't be together, especially if they were relatives.

The fact that Jon was actually adopted was only another excuse to bully him.

It obviously wasn't his fault: he had never known who his real parents were. Eddard, Robb's father, just took him home one winter night, without explaining anything. He was so little, cold and pale, even if already a year old, that the first word Robb said when he saw him was "snow".

Robb and he had grown together like they were twins, sharing everything, spending all their time together.

When children made fun of Jon, Robb was always there to protect him.

But high school made it difficult, as football players were socially expected to be bullies, and being the brother and best friend of the weirdo wasn't good for his reputation.

Still, Robb loved him and showed it in every way.

Jon headed to the library: there he spent most of his time, studying while waiting for Robb to go home.

There he could be as lonely and quiet and weird as he wanted to, books couldn't judge him.

With his headphones on, he was lost in his own peaceful world and for a while and everything was okay.

Robb parked his car in the garage. They got out and went up in to the large house they lived in.

It was a three floors manor with an attic, a sprawling garden and a big garage in the basement.

Every floor was connected by winding staircases.

The one coming up from the basement ended in the living room, next to the half wall that partially closed the kitchen.

One of the walls was almost completely made out of glass, from which they could see the whole garden, from the playing fields to the little barn conversion, to the wood all around.

In the distance there were snowy mountains and bright green valleys, and in the morning they could see the sun rise.

Robb headed straight to the kitchen to get something to eat, while Jon went opening the glass door to let the dogs come in.

They were two of their six Alaskan Malamutes, Ghost and Nymeria.

They both jumped on Jon and joyfully licked his face.

He laughed and petted them.

Apart from Robb, the dogs were the part of the family that showed Jon most affection and he loved them just as much as he loved his little brothers.

"Nym, come here!" Jon heard Robb say from the kitchen.

The smaller, light grey dog let Jon go and ran towards Robb, while Ghost stood still, all his four paws on the ground, and just stared at him.

When he was a pup, he had been the smallest and most often sick of the brood. Jon was the one who stood up for him when his parents wanted to get him killed, and he took care of him personally.

Now, after several years, the dog responded only to Jon, and, ironically, he had grown to be the biggest and healthiest of them all.

Also, he was an albino, and his red eyes made people feel uncomfortable. Lately, Jon could relate more to him than to his brother.

While Robb petted Nymeria, Jon sat down on the couch and switched on the TV. Ghost followed him right away and nestled next to him on the couch.

"Do you know if mum and dad will be home for dinner?" Robb asked after a while, sitting next to the dog and scratching behind his ears.

Nym had run up the stairs, probably to get to Arya.

"Are you asking me or Ghost?" Jon said, laughing at his dog's pleasured face.

"Ghost, obviously. You never know anything." Robb replied with a grin.

"Dad's still on the set of the new ad, that's all I know. Your mother should be there too." Jon said, pulling up some music channel.

Robb made a face when he heard "your mother" but didn't say anything.

"I'm going to ask Sansa. Are you up for a ride, later? You still have to show me that place you mentioned a few days ago." he said instead.

Jon knew he was just trying to make up for what happened before at school, but he wasn't really in the mood to argue with him, so he just agreed.

After all, the times they could spend alone together were not many, lately, and he knew better than to refuse such a chance.

"I'll wait you out by the gate." he just said.

They both got up and went to the stairs: Robb ran up to the upper floors, while Jon climbed them down in the basement. Ghost followed him.

He took his and Robb's bikes, filled up two bottles of water and took everything up the wide ramp that linked the front yard with the garage.

When he got out on the front, Robb was already waiting for him with a backpack and a strange smile.

"They're not coming home till late tonight. I told Sansa to make dinner for her and the others. We're eating out." he said, actually very excited.

Jon chuckled, passed him the bottles and got up his bike.

They rode for about a mile on the main road, passing a few others detached houses, and then they took a narrow path that went down the valley and up in the wild.

Ghost followed them for a while then disappeared into the woods.

Robb turned on to a well-known path that led them right in the deep of the forest.

The sunset was approaching quickly, but they were used to it.

A few years before they did it almost every day, riding away from their chaotic family and getting lost into the woods, always discovering new trails and new clearings.

Now, Robb was always so busy with his new high school friends, and Jon sometimes went out alone with Ghost, but it just wasn't the same thing.

Riding next to Robb and talking about nothing, or even just staying quiet and listening to the sounds of the wilderness all around them.

"Have you heard The Ravens are going to sing at the assembly next week?" Robb said, apparently casually, as they crossed a clearing and got on another trail.

Jon puffed.

"Alys gave me and headache by talking about the number they're working on, and how 'For the love of God, your voice would be just perfect for the solo!'" he answered kind of bitterly.

Robb blushed.

"Well, it would. And also, that song's awesome." he said.

"You hate My Chemical Romance, Robb." Jon replied.

"I like that one." Rob sighed, adding a nasty look.

Jon was annoyed at that, but still smiled fondly at his brother's tries.

"How did you convince her to exhaust me?" he asked with a grin.

"We were just talking about you and it came out. She already thought you should join them."

"You talk about me?" Jon was actually surprised.

"Of course we do. We're both worried."

Jon rolled his eyes.

"How many times I have to tell you that I'm perfectly fine by myself?"

"How many you want, I won't ever believe you." Robb replied and sped up for a rise.

And you would be damn right, Jon thought, but he hushed.

"Why don't you join the Ravens? You can sing as well." he said instead.

Robb laughed bitterly.

"I'm in the football team. I can't really do both."

"You could be the first one to do it. You could be a pioneer." Jon smirked when he said it, but he wasn't really joking.

"Please. Don't be stupid."

They kept quiet for a while, riding slowly in the dim light.

Without the need to say it, maybe without even thinking about it, Robb was riding to a place they knew well since they were children, and Jon was following him compliantly.

The hills soon became mountains, the hiking trails got steeper and the trees taller.

When they recognized a white sign on a spruce, they both smiled with nostalgia.

"What if I joined the football team? You know I'm not a bad player." Jon said.

Robb almost fell off of his bike.

"The guys would make it a nightmare for you" Robb replied with a sad hint in his voice.

"They already make my whole life a nightmare, what would be different?" Jon snarled angrily.

Robb looked at him, unable to find something not stupid to say.

Luckily, after another half mile of awkward silence, they finally got to their clearing.

It was a special place.

The trees made a perfect half circle around a cliff.

The grass was tall and soft, so green it was almost unbelievable.

There were no flowers in that time of the year, but it was almost more beautiful like that.

From the cliff, they had a gorgeous view of the whole valley.

During summer they could even see the sea on the horizon when the sky was really clear.

At the center of the half circle, half a meter away from the edge of the cliff, there was a bunch of burned logs, remains of an old bonfire.

They had climbed up there so many times when they were little, spending nights with their dad, telling scary stories and roasting sausages and marshmallows.

That place was uncomfortably full of memories, but, at the same time, being there after so many years was like greeting their old selves.

They left the bikes on the ground and went sitting on the edge, their legs hanging down, the old familiar thrill making them shiver.

A wrong move and they could end their lives on the rocks, becoming food for ravens and eagles.

"You really think I would find friends in that club?" Jon asked in a low, rough voice.

It sounded like he was about to cry, but Robb wasn't brave enough to look at him and check.

"I think so, yes. You're always saying you're a loser and that you're lonely. Maybe you'll find out that it's just your point of view that's not wide enough."

"You're saying that staying with other losers will get your team mates to stay away from me?"

Or are you saying that I should find someone else to annoy and leave you alone?

"Well, it could. They always attack people when they're on their own. If you had someone to stay with, maybe they'll leave you alone." Robb said.

His hands were quivering lightly as he ripped some blades of grass from the ground and threw them off of the cliff.

"Or maybe they'll go against the whole group just because I'm in it." Jon said dryly.

There were just too many things to consider and he didn't want to change something he was used to only to make everything worse.

"But if you never try, you will never know." Robb said with a slight intonation, almost singing.

Jon tried to frown at him, but as he raised his gaze and met Robb's eyes, every bad feeling kind of switched off.

They were exactly the same colour as the sea at the horizon in those bright summer mornings were everything was warm enough and the whole world seemed to smile.

Since they were little they had been kind of an anchor for Jon. Something he could find relief in when he was upset or angry or sad. A quick look was like staring at the sky for hours.

And they were so bright and clear that it was really too easy to read through them.

In that moment, Jon could see all the preoccupation and the affection Robb was really feeling, and he just couldn't push himself to be mean.

"Don't quote Coldplay at me, with those puppy eyes." he said, looking away.

He could almost hear Robb smiling.

It's just so easy for you, isn't it? Jon wanted to ask, but he was really too tired of arguing.

The sun was setting, drowning into the horizon, painting everything in orange, red and gold. All the little rivers that crossed the valley shined like jewels, all the glasses on the buildings, all the cars, everything glimmered and for a while the world seemed a good place.

They stayed quiet, in awe of the view, listening to the apparent silence of the mountains made of whooshing leaves and singing birds, of running water and tapping paws.

When even the last direct ray of light disappeared, getting everything into the blue dim light of the twilight, Robb stood up and quickly got into the woods.

After a few minutes, he came back with a bunch of sticks and brown leaves. He put them above the remains of the past bonfire and lit them up with his lighter.

Soon, a quite big fire was burning and enlightening the whole clearing.

"Wanna eat?" Robb asked, taking his backpack from the bike.

Jon went to sit next to the camp fire, shivering and starving.

"What have you brought?" he asked.

Robb smiled and pulled out of the bag a pack of sausages and pointed sticks.

Jon smiled back, and they just went on with their night, talking about nothing, roasting sausages and eating them too soon, burning their fingertips and their tongues.

The oncoming autumn, the burning logs, the meat, everything mixed up in a scent that smelled like traditions and memories and childhood.

They went from pork to marshmallows and biscuits, feeling like little kids.

They imagined what their mother would have said, seeing them talking with their mouths full and laughing so hard they spit food everywhere around.

Jon wanted to ask Robb if his team mates had ever seen him like that, but he was too scared of the possible answer.

They lost time as the moon rose and covered the valley in silver.

Lying on the slightly dump grass next to the dying flames, watching the starry sky in silence, everything was perfect.

After a while, when the night got colder as a sharp wind blew through the woods, Robb curled up at Jon's side, resting his head on his chest and putting his hands in the pocket of Jon's hoodie.

Without even thinking about it, driven by his memories of similar times, Jon started playing gently with the curls on Robb's neck.

Even thought he was cold and the contact sent shivers down his spine, Robb didn't turn away from him. He actually arched his neck a bit, probably unconsciously, in order to give Jon more space.

It could have been awkward, given their ages, but cuddling that way was just part of the tradition, and, in that moment, none of them could really think about anything.

There was no one there but trees and stars. They were free, and it was wonderful.

Blowing wind and cowing ravens, crackling fire and running water.

Their slow and regular breaths, Jon's heartbeat pumping in Robb's ear.

A wolf howled in the distance.

They were almost falling asleep when Robb's phone rang loudly, breaking the spell.

They both jumped in surprise, and Robb dashed to his backpack to answer.

Jon sat up, a bit numb, and rubbed his sleepy eyes with the back of his hands.

"Hey! We're up in the woods. Yes, I did. No. No! She could... Mum, we're... Okay, okay. I heard you, stop shouting! We're leaving right now, yeah. See you later." he heard Robb say on the phone.

Jon sighed.

He kind of hated himself for thinking so, but, despite how grateful he was that Robb's parents had welcomed him as he was a part of the family for real, Catelyn was and had always been ready to ruin every good thing that ever happened to Jon.

It was clear that she couldn't see him as his child, she couldn't love him as much as she loved the others, sometimes she even seemed to despise him, and Jon had never really understood why.

She was the only one among all his relatives that, after sixteen years, still couldn't see him as family, and even if the feeling was reciprocal, it still hurt for Jon.

"So?" he asked as Robb got close again. He tried not to sound sad, but he couldn't really tell if he succeeded.

"Apparently, Sansa did a mess with the dinner and mum blamed us for leaving them alone. She threatened to ground us both if we don't come back immediately." he explained.

He was clearly pissed off, and that was no good. His fights with his mother somehow always got them both grounded. Not that it was a problem for Jon, he wasn't going out anyway, but Robb was really annoying when bored.

Jon didn't say a word. He just stood up, put out the fire with some water and took his bike.

Even if it was dark and they only had the little lights on their bikes, they knew those woods so well they could ride with no problems.

They were quiet for the whole way. Jon wanted to try to calm Robb, but couldn't find anything to say, so he just stayed hushed and waited.

As soon as they got home and climbed up from the basement to the living room, Jon regretted not having talked.

Catelyn Stark, a tall, serious woman with fiery hair and blue eyes, stood in the middle of the room, staring at the boys with her arms folded and her eyebrows creased.

"So, Let's count: how many times have I told you that at least one of you has to stay at home when we're out?" she dryly said.

"We always do. I just thought that Sansa was able to look after them, for once." Robb replied, already starting to heat up.

"She's just a little girl." Catelyn said still calm and cold.

"She's thirteen! I cooked for her when I was ten!" Robb snapped back.

Actually, it was Jon that could cook at ten, while Robb was barely able to heat up something in the microwave, but it wasn't really the time to say that.

"She could have burned herself!" Catelyn eventually lost her self-control.

"Am I to blame if she's dumb?" Robb almost snarled. His mother got furious.

"Don't you dare insult your sister! She's little and fragile, she's not dumb!" she shouted.

"She will have to grow up some day! Also, Arya is perfectly able to make a proper meal. Jon taught her. But don't you dare tell Sansa she's not good at something!" Robb replied, laughing bitterly on his last words.

"She's...-"Catelyn started saying, but froze as her husband got out of his study.

"Would you just stop with all this noise?" Eddard Stark calmly said.

"I'm teaching your children some responsibility!" she said arrogantly.

"Why don't you teach Sansa how to cook? Robb's right, honey." he said with the ghost of a grin on his lips, and Robb smiled like he had just won a Nobel prize.

Jon smiled as well.

Catelyn was speechless.

Without waiting for her answer, Eddard got back into his study and locked the door.

"Well, if you taught Arya, you could teach Sansa as well!" Catelyn barked at Jon, the only one who she could go against without fearing a rebellion.

"I will, if she asks me to." he replied, with a falsely compliant smile.

"She will." the woman dryly said.

Then, without adding a word, she walked away toward the upper floors.

The boys waited until they heard her steps stop and a door slam, and then sighed in relief.

"We're not grounded, are we? I think that's a first!" Robb laughed.

"Having to teach Sansa something is not a punishment?" Jon said, but he was grinning.

He knew that his little sister would have never let him teach her anything. She was a damned stubborn, like all his family. Also, she was unbelievably dull sometimes.

"She won't ever ask you, don't worry. You can keep giving Arya your lessons." Robb replied, grinning as well.

He knew that, between all his younger siblings, Arya was the one Jon preferred. She was five years younger than him but she was really clever for a girl her age. She was the kind of person who would have bought the stuff her father sold instead of designing it as her mother did, and as her sister planned to do. She was always running around with Nymeria and some friends from fencing class.

While she was always fighting with Sansa and Catelyn, and she was pretty intimidated by Robb and Eddard, with Jon she was always sweet and lovely.

They shared the feeling of being unwelcome in their family; they both were kind of the black sheep of the flock.

The only slightly feminine thing that anyone had ever managed to get her to do was cooking, and Jon loved teaching her.

"Are you up for playing something on the Xbox? I won't go to bed so early on a Friday evening." Robb broke his mental ramblings.

"Sorry, I'm really too sleepy. I'm off to bed, if you don't mind." Jon said, yawning. He knew he was wasting a really rare chance, but he could barely keep his eyes open.

"I actually mind." Robb pouted.

Jon smiled at him and just climbed up the stairs.

"I'll play with the volume on, so you will hear how much fun I'll be having." the redhead added, following the other.

Jon didn't reply, entering his room, just on the right from the stairs, on the first floor.

Robb followed him and closed the door behind.

When they were little, that room was bigger and they slept there together with their parents.

The house had only two floors, and they were happy with staying close.

Then Catelyn had Sansa, and they all started thinking about their future: luckily, Eddard had made a huge success with his company, so they had enough money to expand the house.

They built another floor, and by the time it was finished, Arya was born as well.

The parents moved upstairs with the newborn, and the other kids were left together in the old room.

They kept things like that until Rickon was two.

Robb and Jon were thirteen, and the ten years old Sansa was already starting to be annoying.

Catelyn decided to build an attic, originally thought for both of the girls, but then Arya refused to share the room with her sister, so Sansa got the biggest bedroom all on her own. Amazingly, she was still able to complain about the furniture and the windows and the colours, but nobody listened to her and she settled, at last.

Anyway, Arya now wanted a room on her own as well. She moved downstairs, and they sacrificed the guest room.

Everyone was okay with that: Bran and Rickon slept together, near their parents, Sansa and Arya were on their own and Robb and Jon were happy sharing a room.

But Catelyn wasn't.

She never gave anyone a real explanation: mumbling things like 'too close' and 'I won't let him...' she decided to made two rooms out of one, separating the two brothers.

They tried to stand against her, but neither Eddard had been able to make her change her mind. At the end, they settled for placing a door inside the room, so that they had direct access to each other's bedroom.

So, now, three years later, it was like they still shared a room: they spent most of the time together in one of the sides, and they even slept together some times.

On his side, Jon had the consoles and a very expensive music center, but also a huge library filled with every kind of book.

Posters of rock bands, photos and flags were hung on his blue walls, and the floor was covered in clothes and pieces of paper. Under the big window on the eastern wall, the one that faced the garden, there was a desk with a laptop and a lava lamp.

A bass guitar with a little amplifier quietly sat behind the TV.

On the northern wall there was a commode and a mirror was hung above it.

As he was in, Robb took off his shoes and crossed the room towards the TV.

Without even asking, Jon put on his pyjamas, muttered a "goodnight" and went in Robb's room.

Robb, when tired of playing, would have slept in Jon's bed. They were used to it.

There were no real boundaries between them, they almost even shared their toothbrushes, they could surely share their beds.

Robb did actually play with the volume on, and cursed really loudly on purpose, but for Jon it wasn't that much of a deal.

Before his mother got down to make Robb turn off the volume he was already asleep.

**This is beta's by Writer of the North. Thank you very much for your help **

**I really hope you liked this. See you soon with the second chapter (I hope!) :D**


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